Now it’s been 21 years to my “marriage adventure” and I gladly say that it was my love marriage

It all started when there was no HD quality pictures in movies and no Facebook to post our wedding pictures, as the Christina river never ceased to follow  its course with its never ending duty, equally my life journey walked with least excitement and more fulfillment.

Delaware County Memorial Hospital served me more than enough to live my well designed dream on behalf I was highly privileged to serve there. My patient circle was nothing less than the performers in an old experienced and fame gained circus – they varied every next. Nonetheless it was a lifetime entertainment as if but mentioning I had a non-fluctuating career.

Regardless to my lack of interest in marriage relationship after a heartbreaking one in my college life,  my parents, despite living away from me due to my work decided to arrange a suitable groom for me who would eventually bring stability and adorable kids to my life.

At my youth, arrange marriage was as backdated as corsets in the Victorian era. After huge conflicts and useless discussions of my point of view all ended with my consent to the marriage. And I was left like a well dressed kid taken to a family party with no friends of mine but had to go with parent persuasion. But, I thought I might not regret this because this was the last thing for which my mother was whole heartedly smiling in spite of the fact that cancer cells were growing at an unstoppable pace. So, I thought what’s more than a dying mother’s happiness who held the patience and pain to hold me in her womb for nine long months.

The thought of discovering my groom out of my fashion and style did haunt me but not as much as I could see myself as a wife with huge responsibilities on shoulders. I don’t shame confessing that I’m a lazy person choosy being the garnish for my personality.

After my college breakup with some pig faced jerk, I gradually adapted the idea that I’ll make myself one partner during my work but according to bitter truth realization I did make some but it were the surgical instruments who promised never to leave me with beneficiaries.

Arrangements for the marriage had started and I didn’t even meet the guy I’m going to spend the life with.  We planned out for a date in a classic restaurant but the old version The Classic Diner didn’t prove lucky enough; my would be husband couldn’t turn up. Never mind, I got some idea about him.

As theme weddings were not in the show that much,  my wedding was going to be in a church with flowers decorations from Peterson’s decorations, regarded best in town. And my wedding gown designed by bestselling designer which could now be probably like Amsale, so it was kind of high budgeted and with all these I had blank imagination of how would my prince charming be.

It was finally the great day, with least expectations in my mind, packing my heart with courage I moved for “marriage adventure”. I can never forget the red face of my mother as she smiled at her only beloved daughter. I held my father’s arm with my veil on compensating my overlong sweeping pinkish gown with a loose bun finely dressed following along four bridesmaids. Thoughts lingered in my mind would I be as comfortable being in his as I’m in holding my father’s arm.

For a certain moment, my heart stopped and I felt I shouldn’t be doing this for which I had hundred and one reasons to present and on the other hand I had only one reason to accept that proposal.

It was boldly observed that I was cold. I was nervous.

Taking small steps I climbed the two stairs to be at par with the groom. I looked at him, he was already looking at me.  He was tall.  He was wearing a blue groom suit, I observed at a quick glance. I glanced down and a voice whispered “You look amazing”.       

I smirked. It was not flirtatious, it wasn’t robotic, it wasn’t as if a banker is talking to me, it was purely warm. I fell for the warmth.

We exchanged rings. I was married. I became a wife.

And now it’s been 21 years to my “marriage adventure” and I gladly say that it was my love marriage.His warmth was my love at first sight at the moment.

The would be husband whom I presumed to be boring and mechanical turned an open admirer of mine with no roses and speech just a tincture of love and warmth which garnished everything with a taste.

I lost my mother within five months of my marriage, he stood beside me. I had a miscarriage, he was to hold me. We had a still born, I was shattered; he was the pole.  Whatever I went through all my crests and troughs, he was an integral part.

There are certain things that we need to know that you don’t always need a plan. Sometimes you need to  breathe, calm down, look around and improvise. Because you already know that you can’t control the future.

Today, I’m a mother of two, working, living and overcoming hardships and the love that usually we seek is all within ourselves.

After meeting Dawson I started loving myself and everything was in love.  He is 7 years older to me despite the fact that my love story started after my marriage with my husband, it is as colorful to pen down as any other.

Things were beyond our wet desires and hardest pleasures over nights. I was comfortable with him as I was holding my father’s arm at St. Peter’s on that great day.

Dawson made me an adult, emotionally and mentally. He accepted me the way I’m. I assimilated acceptance is not everywhere and maybe that is what people seek with few pairs of binoculars.

Dawson made me powerful and strong.Sometimes we need to travel a long way to find what is near.Innocence is the origin of love.

When I paused my life journey and looked around, everything around me was in a deep connection among oneself, my mother to me, father to her, father to me, me to Dawson, Dawson to my children. And this connection proves the protection and satisfaction that yes, there are people beside me.

Loving someone deeply gives you strength while being deeply loved by someone gives you courage.Everything comes from nothingness and goes back to nothingness. Nothingness is the basis of existence.

Marriage is not about compatibility, companionship, or extracting happiness. It is an opportunity to achieve a union that will open up a greater possibility.

You cannot change consequences, it is our choice to appreciate or be astounded by the logic, or to use it as  a plume to float to the dimensions of beyond.

Image Source: Zumi

by Israt Yasmin, The Blogging Connection

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.